...

I'm going in for a consult on getting my first tatoo tomorrow...

kinda nervous...I have two ideas that i've wanted to do for years...now is probably the worst time...(seeing as i'm still unemployed)...but I just dont want to wait anymore.

if I get it...i'll post the pics.

:-)

the holidays

I'm visiting my mother in Wyoming right now...what's in wyoming you ask...I'll tell you.

NOTHING...not a goddamn thing!

They have fields, dirt, and I may have seen a dude riding a horse....*sigh*

But, my mother moved here recently and i' haven't seen her in far too long...so my sisters decided to bring me here for the holidays and her birthday...as a surprise. Months of them discussing their arrival...while I softly appologized for, once again, being unable to make it. As she waited for my sisters' plane to arrive in the denver airport....I walked beside her....bright red bow on my head, and a large sign that read "happy birthday mom!"

Needless to say, she did a little happy bouncy mom dance while crying...she ran past security to hug me...they turned to stop her...then saw the perfect picture of rediculous (me in the bow)...and decided to let it slide.

ugh, food...ugh, dessert....last time mom saw me I was well into a relationship that we all assumed was going to end in marriage...and I had the body fat to prove it...being "less" of what I once was...mom feels it was a good idea to feed me sweets and whatever else she could cook...I'm not saying I mind....but I see lots of running in my near future...

till next time

me on a date....what's the world coming to

Ok, so this girl that used to come into the bar works at a local Starbucks that I stop into about three times a week. There was some passive flirting...etc. That turned into more flirting...which finally turned into me trading my number for the Double shot venti non-fat gingerbread chai (yeah, my drink is really that complicated....but it's AMAZING...try it and tell me i'm wrong)

So she called...

we went out had a great time...she's really cool...and yes, you could say...I like her. At the end of the night I held back some charm and just kissed her goodnight, and spoke about our next "event"....

Ok, problem...before I gave her my number...before i actually thought we might get together...she asked me my age...and I said 25!!! I dont know why it' just came out...I was hoping she wouldn't remember...but she did...

Any advice on how to tell her without sounding like i'm a creepy liar guy???

ho-hum...

So I have almost every major school assignment for the next week done already...so I decided, since i don't have class tomorrow, that tonight was a "go out drinking" night. Lately i've been craving something "different/more" than what i'm used to. Now, to avoid legal complications, what that really means is (as opposed to a REALLY crazy night)...I'd like to go, with one to four friends to someplace REALLY busy...where i won't know anyone else.

Of couse, everyone i know, already has some "run of the mill" plan in place....

So I join them for drinks and pool...

One hour in, i'm so un-god-ly bored that I leave without notice for...well...anyplace else. the nearest bar is...what used to be...an old mostly gay (or cool straight people) bar around the corner. I used to DJ classic house music and old school detoit techno for people in this place years ago...so I "name drop"...that is to say...I use the owner, manager, and EVERY old employee...as the reason that i don't have to pay...to get in.

it works. (what can I say, i'm charming)....

One- I get a beer, sit in the corner, and wear my best..."dont fucking bother me" face I have....which somehow still prompts 3 guys to come hit on me...

sidenote---no matter how many times i tell a gay man..."sorry, i'm not gay"...why do they always persist...is this what average men do to average women??? if so...I appologize for my gender.

anyhow...I spy someone I know...and realize...it's not the mother of his child and fiancee he's speaking to...but some other random bitch...he's my boy...but still, i'm pissed. His daughter is the CUTE-EST thing EVER....and his girl...loves him...and (so he says) he loves her....

For a guy who's been accused of cheating, but never has...seeing the dirty deed in full effect is even more repulsive than I thought it would be.

I approach...

the horror sinks across his face like a shroud of death...then some humor (as the question "why AM I here" crosses his mind)...we chit-chat...and it's done...

I leave, completely dissatisfied with my horrible forray into the wild world of "public"...and once again retreat into my anti social shell....

your friend,
the hermit

Me

You're gonna love this...

So I went to get a little weather stripping for a leaky door...as anyone from the midwest should know...it's FREAKING COLD...and gas companies are criminals...in other words, it gets expensive if you let that shit "slide"

Back on track now...
I'm walking and as the long time readers may know...I have a problem (lets call it a passive addiction) to the sound of high-heels. particularly the sound of high-heels on tile or an otherwise hard surface. Now I'm walking along and this wonderfull sound was just so happening to be coming from the heels of a woman...that appeared to have a just about perfect...hmm, lets call it a "rear-profile"....for tact's sake.

Now my eyes slowly traveled upward...let me accentuate the word "slowly" one more time...I joyfully noticed that the rest of this woman ain't to shabby neither...now I had things to do and am not one to stare (huge lie)...so when she stopped to speak to an employee and some other man...I gave her the necessary, one-last-sideways-checkout...and went about my business.

Here's where things got interesting...

She comes Sauntering down the aisle tward me...looks directly at me and Says...with way too much purpose..."hey..."
so I politely replied, "hello...how you doin" (at this point all's still casual)
she then says with a crooked sultry half-grin..."i'm good....*slower now*...and how are you?"...

(when I acted the following words out to my roomate, she said it looks as if I'm "channeling Prince"...Purple Rain, you know....that Prince. Just not in the good way...more pompous slimy-slithery version)

I said, with a mild smirk...."I'm alllllwayys good......"

Now it was at this moment I noticed the guys she was talking too...watching intently...they obviously told her I checked her out and she was making a firty attempt at contact...

So like a complete idiot, as I was coincidentally fumbling for blue rubber painter gloves...(yeah It was that bad, you cant make this shit up)...I say the number one CREEPY response i could come up with.

the woman continued on (obviously)...as I mentally slapped my forehead with a resounding "DOH!"

My only hope was to slink out without having to see her again...Or if I saw her there'd be an opportunity to say "oh god, I swear that came out way creepier than intended"...and hope for a laugh.

I haven't felt so inept...unsmooth...hmm, no....single...yup...that's the one...single (ok, inept and unsmooth too) in a very very very long time...

Just thought I'd share the humor that is my life.

half real...

Like so many things in my life at the moment...my class on Tuesday and Thursday...is half virtual. Meaning, that it occasionally meets in person and occasionally we just download the lesson online. As i drove in early mourning shadow...looking through the small section of my windshield that wasn't frosted over, I realized this was a virtual day...
Now i'm eating instant oatmeal and drinking green tea...aprehensive about what today will bring. No special occasion expected...just that lately every day is filled with an unavoidable event that i would have liked to avoid.

I just thought I'd take a moment to say hello to my other half & half world...

I'm unemployed!!

The club i've worked at for the last five years...the club i always tell stories about...has closed. I'm unemployed for the first time...well...ever. The friends, the girlfriend, the drinks, the shows....it's all a product of that place. They decided to close Monday night...they told us Tuesday night...we stayed and drank for free for about 6 hours...then left as they bolted the doors...

I have no idea what i'm gonna do...I'm sure someone will hire a decent looking, experienced, flare bartender....that's well known as one of the fastest in town...It'll just be weird working anyplace else.