You're gonna love this...

So I went to get a little weather stripping for a leaky door...as anyone from the midwest should know...it's FREAKING COLD...and gas companies are criminals...in other words, it gets expensive if you let that shit "slide"

Back on track now...
I'm walking and as the long time readers may know...I have a problem (lets call it a passive addiction) to the sound of high-heels. particularly the sound of high-heels on tile or an otherwise hard surface. Now I'm walking along and this wonderfull sound was just so happening to be coming from the heels of a woman...that appeared to have a just about perfect...hmm, lets call it a "rear-profile"....for tact's sake.

Now my eyes slowly traveled upward...let me accentuate the word "slowly" one more time...I joyfully noticed that the rest of this woman ain't to shabby neither...now I had things to do and am not one to stare (huge lie)...so when she stopped to speak to an employee and some other man...I gave her the necessary, one-last-sideways-checkout...and went about my business.

Here's where things got interesting...

She comes Sauntering down the aisle tward me...looks directly at me and Says...with way too much purpose..."hey..."
so I politely replied, "hello...how you doin" (at this point all's still casual)
she then says with a crooked sultry half-grin..."i'm good....*slower now*...and how are you?"...

(when I acted the following words out to my roomate, she said it looks as if I'm "channeling Prince"...Purple Rain, you know....that Prince. Just not in the good way...more pompous slimy-slithery version)

I said, with a mild smirk...."I'm alllllwayys good......"

Now it was at this moment I noticed the guys she was talking too...watching intently...they obviously told her I checked her out and she was making a firty attempt at contact...

So like a complete idiot, as I was coincidentally fumbling for blue rubber painter gloves...(yeah It was that bad, you cant make this shit up)...I say the number one CREEPY response i could come up with.

the woman continued on (obviously)...as I mentally slapped my forehead with a resounding "DOH!"

My only hope was to slink out without having to see her again...Or if I saw her there'd be an opportunity to say "oh god, I swear that came out way creepier than intended"...and hope for a laugh.

I haven't felt so inept...unsmooth...hmm, no....single...yup...that's the one...single (ok, inept and unsmooth too) in a very very very long time...

Just thought I'd share the humor that is my life.