Dont kill the messenger

...

2006-11-29T00:29:00.000-05:00

I'm going in for a consult on getting my first tatoo tomorrow...

kinda nervous...I have two ideas that i've wanted to do for years...now is probably the worst time...(seeing as i'm still unemployed)...but I just dont want to wait anymore.

if I get it...i'll post the pics.

:-)

the holidays

2006-11-25T01:43:00.000-05:00

I'm visiting my mother in Wyoming right now...what's in wyoming you ask...I'll tell you.

NOTHING...not a goddamn thing!

They have fields, dirt, and I may have seen a dude riding a horse....*sigh*

But, my mother moved here recently and i' haven't seen her in far too long...so my sisters decided to bring me here for the holidays and her birthday...as a surprise. Months of them discussing their arrival...while I softly appologized for, once again, being unable to make it. As she waited for my sisters' plane to arrive in the denver airport....I walked beside her....bright red bow on my head, and a large sign that read "happy birthday mom!"

Needless to say, she did a little happy bouncy mom dance while crying...she ran past security to hug me...they turned to stop her...then saw the perfect picture of rediculous (me in the bow)...and decided to let it slide.

ugh, food...ugh, dessert....last time mom saw me I was well into a relationship that we all assumed was going to end in marriage...and I had the body fat to prove it...being "less" of what I once was...mom feels it was a good idea to feed me sweets and whatever else she could cook...I'm not saying I mind....but I see lots of running in my near future...

till next time

me on a date....what's the world coming to

2006-11-18T13:58:00.000-05:00

Ok, so this girl that used to come into the bar works at a local Starbucks that I stop into about three times a week. There was some passive flirting...etc. That turned into more flirting...which finally turned into me trading my number for the Double shot venti non-fat gingerbread chai (yeah, my drink is really that complicated....but it's AMAZING...try it and tell me i'm wrong)

So she called...

we went out had a great time...she's really cool...and yes, you could say...I like her. At the end of the night I held back some charm and just kissed her goodnight, and spoke about our next "event"....

Ok, problem...before I gave her my number...before i actually thought we might get together...she asked me my age...and I said 25!!! I dont know why it' just came out...I was hoping she wouldn't remember...but she did...

Any advice on how to tell her without sounding like i'm a creepy liar guy???

ho-hum...

2006-11-17T03:43:00.000-05:00

So I have almost every major school assignment for the next week done already...so I decided, since i don't have class tomorrow, that tonight was a "go out drinking" night. Lately i've been craving something "different/more" than what i'm used to. Now, to avoid legal complications, what that really means is (as opposed to a REALLY crazy night)...I'd like to go, with one to four friends to someplace REALLY busy...where i won't know anyone else.

Of couse, everyone i know, already has some "run of the mill" plan in place....

So I join them for drinks and pool...

One hour in, i'm so un-god-ly bored that I leave without notice for...well...anyplace else. the nearest bar is...what used to be...an old mostly gay (or cool straight people) bar around the corner. I used to DJ classic house music and old school detoit techno for people in this place years ago...so I "name drop"...that is to say...I use the owner, manager, and EVERY old employee...as the reason that i don't have to pay...to get in.

it works. (what can I say, i'm charming)....

One- I get a beer, sit in the corner, and wear my best..."dont fucking bother me" face I have....which somehow still prompts 3 guys to come hit on me...

sidenote---no matter how many times i tell a gay man..."sorry, i'm not gay"...why do they always persist...is this what average men do to average women??? if so...I appologize for my gender.

anyhow...I spy someone I know...and realize...it's not the mother of his child and fiancee he's speaking to...but some other random bitch...he's my boy...but still, i'm pissed. His daughter is the CUTE-EST thing EVER....and his girl...loves him...and (so he says) he loves her....

For a guy who's been accused of cheating, but never has...seeing the dirty deed in full effect is even more repulsive than I thought it would be.

I approach...

the horror sinks across his face like a shroud of death...then some humor (as the question "why AM I here" crosses his mind)...we chit-chat...and it's done...

I leave, completely dissatisfied with my horrible forray into the wild world of "public"...and once again retreat into my anti social shell....

your friend,
the hermit

Me

You're gonna love this...

2006-11-13T22:24:00.000-05:00

So I went to get a little weather stripping for a leaky door...as anyone from the midwest should know...it's FREAKING COLD...and gas companies are criminals...in other words, it gets expensive if you let that shit "slide"

Back on track now...
I'm walking and as the long time readers may know...I have a problem (lets call it a passive addiction) to the sound of high-heels. particularly the sound of high-heels on tile or an otherwise hard surface. Now I'm walking along and this wonderfull sound was just so happening to be coming from the heels of a woman...that appeared to have a just about perfect...hmm, lets call it a "rear-profile"....for tact's sake.

Now my eyes slowly traveled upward...let me accentuate the word "slowly" one more time...I joyfully noticed that the rest of this woman ain't to shabby neither...now I had things to do and am not one to stare (huge lie)...so when she stopped to speak to an employee and some other man...I gave her the necessary, one-last-sideways-checkout...and went about my business.

Here's where things got interesting...

She comes Sauntering down the aisle tward me...looks directly at me and Says...with way too much purpose..."hey..."
so I politely replied, "hello...how you doin" (at this point all's still casual)
she then says with a crooked sultry half-grin..."i'm good....*slower now*...and how are you?"...

(when I acted the following words out to my roomate, she said it looks as if I'm "channeling Prince"...Purple Rain, you know....that Prince. Just not in the good way...more pompous slimy-slithery version)

I said, with a mild smirk...."I'm alllllwayys good......"

Now it was at this moment I noticed the guys she was talking too...watching intently...they obviously told her I checked her out and she was making a firty attempt at contact...

So like a complete idiot, as I was coincidentally fumbling for blue rubber painter gloves...(yeah It was that bad, you cant make this shit up)...I say the number one CREEPY response i could come up with.

the woman continued on (obviously)...as I mentally slapped my forehead with a resounding "DOH!"

My only hope was to slink out without having to see her again...Or if I saw her there'd be an opportunity to say "oh god, I swear that came out way creepier than intended"...and hope for a laugh.

I haven't felt so inept...unsmooth...hmm, no....single...yup...that's the one...single (ok, inept and unsmooth too) in a very very very long time...

Just thought I'd share the humor that is my life.

half real...

2006-10-24T08:38:00.000-04:00

Like so many things in my life at the moment...my class on Tuesday and Thursday...is half virtual. Meaning, that it occasionally meets in person and occasionally we just download the lesson online. As i drove in early mourning shadow...looking through the small section of my windshield that wasn't frosted over, I realized this was a virtual day...
Now i'm eating instant oatmeal and drinking green tea...aprehensive about what today will bring. No special occasion expected...just that lately every day is filled with an unavoidable event that i would have liked to avoid.

I just thought I'd take a moment to say hello to my other half & half world...

I'm unemployed!!

2006-10-18T19:13:00.000-04:00

The club i've worked at for the last five years...the club i always tell stories about...has closed. I'm unemployed for the first time...well...ever. The friends, the girlfriend, the drinks, the shows....it's all a product of that place. They decided to close Monday night...they told us Tuesday night...we stayed and drank for free for about 6 hours...then left as they bolted the doors...

I have no idea what i'm gonna do...I'm sure someone will hire a decent looking, experienced, flare bartender....that's well known as one of the fastest in town...It'll just be weird working anyplace else.

If you get the chance

2006-10-03T21:54:00.000-04:00

I saw a band the other day...they were a blend of Portishead/bjork/postal service...
If that sounds as good to you as it does to me...check out "Alias & Tarsier"...annoyingly hard to say name...but fuck it. They're amazing...

You can also check out their myspace at "myspace.com/aliasandtarsier"

They have a bunch of upcoming Texas shows for you lone-star folk...just trust me...check em' out.

...

2006-10-01T04:31:00.000-04:00

today (sept 30th) is my ex-girlfriends birthday...I miss her...she's currently in a long-distance relationship with a man from michigan...which is what she wouldn't do with me...that is all i have to say about that topic...

Behind the badge

2006-09-25T12:14:00.000-04:00

So I'm bartending about two Saturdays' ago...(I realize I'm WAY behind update wise)...Unfortunately, i'm stuck on our third floor bartending for some private party. Now bartending a private party is often a "double edged sword"...reason: If it's busy, the people attending usually feel a bigger "connection" with me the bartender...as such, the tips go up over the course of the evening resulting in a far more worthwhile shift. Now if it's not busy or the crowd/people suck....you cant be mean...you're stuck with em'...what's worse, if they decide to all go home...I have to stay working...they PAID (the bar, not me)...to have a bartender available...all night...after all, they may come back...basicaly, I could be stuck standing in an empty room for hours not making any money..

anyhow, the private party arrived...and I made a few bucks...but turns out most of them were cops...that's right, it was a cop party...like i needed that stress. To top it off most of them left before midnight. So now it's just me and about 4-5 drunk cops and i'm stuck there another 3 hours...boo.

So I'm standing there bottle-juggling and practicing bar tricks and flare..If you dont know what flare is...think "Cocktail" starring tom cruise....except i'm better than he is at it...now dont get me wrong...if you've ever seen the bartender olympics (yes, there are bartender olympics) those people are AMAZING...I dont even come close...

I keep getting sidetracked...so i'm doing bartricks...and one of the female cops starts watching and loving it...so i'm bored, so I start showing her how to do some things...she's havign a great time...whatever...I had nothing else to do...she says..."bar tricks...woohoo, I feel like a real bartender!"...so i make the joke..."while you're doing that, let me have your gun so I can feel like a cop"....to which she surprisingly says...go ahead it's right over there in my bag!!!!!! go ahead and pick out someone in the crowd below to shoot!!

She was kidding....and little did I know there WAS someone in the downstairs crowd that I would LOVE to watch die (but that story is for another day)....but when she said it, i got a little nervous...because she was a Detroit cop...famous nationwide as being a police force filled with crime and corruption...so you never know.

As the evening progressed I had a good time just "chillin" and even a couple of drinks with the cop...all in all; good times....

then it happened...as the night drew to a close she approched me and asked me for my number...doh!...she was cool...but not at all my type...at ALL...but how do you say "no" to someone with a gun!???

So i gave it to her...figuring *she's from an hour away...she's drunk...she wont call*....

once again...my intuition was wrong...she wont stop calling...aaaaaahhhh!!!...what to do...what to do?? why couldn't she just do what every other girl does...wake up realize they asked the bartender for his phone number...feel embarrased...and NEVER call...

weird find...

2006-09-13T17:56:00.000-04:00

Digging through an old notebook, that I felt still had some use in it (for school...am I becoming "thrifty"?)...I found some pretty bad psuedo poetry stuff I had written in the "cloud nine" stages of my last relationship...hilarious stuff. I figured what the hell, I dont have much else to say, so i threw it up onto my blog.

I can feel your smile
like sunlight kissing my skin
happily floating in a river of your everyday expressions

It's amazing how being reminded of days long gone can both; make us smile reminiciently...and...sad that it all goes by so quickly.

here's another a few pages later...crazy, I forgot about this completely...ha.

Feel you as a canvas
sculpt, create, investigate
our sillouette
like a passion masterpeice
learning the absurd rythym we've made
finally capturing joy

*yeah, I know it's crap...but I was a lot younger then...and as everyone knows....love makes us stupid...*

unfortunately this "noise" is all i got for you right now...I'm writing a paper for a group project...of couse the "group" is all 18-21 year olds...so they've contributed nothing, and in fact have yet to make the time to meet as a group...so I'm doing all of it.

late night update

2006-09-09T04:20:00.000-04:00

So...Last night I spent with some family...actually the night before too...ok...so I suppose I should start with Wednesday.

Wed- I called up an old friend that runs a local club night on wednesday's to see If I could pick up one of the "time slots" to DJ...I had my cousin from Italy in town along with a close friend of his. Turns out they're both big "house" music fans....particularly the jazzy down-beat stuff that I play these days. So I wanted to have a show for them to attend.

The whole evening turned out great. All my friends...specifically the female ones...got a big kick out of how similar (as in how big of flirts) they are to me. They barely speak a "lick" of english...but they enjoyed it (and the company) just the same.

Coincidentally, the cousin I speak of is the one that runs the family winery in Tuscany...(dont know if i've mentioned all this before...I usually dont...it always sounds like i'm bragging...but i'm a little "tipsy"...so what the hell)....and I've been invited out again this fall to help with the grape harvest...and even cooler...his friend has a friend (confused yet) that runs a "discoteque" in milan...and is going to get me a "gig" out there....superfun!

Thrs- spent at a fundraiser for a (somewhat) local symphony that involved a huge five-course meal with the family wine to accompany...my cousin as the guest of honor. We (the whole fam) had to sit in a focal point in the room...a tad uncomfortable when eating...but bearable.

Anyhow...I just like that someday...as the wine spreads accross the US...(my father only recently began it's importation into the US)...hopefully friends will see my last name on the corks of wine they order at dinner.

*I cant help but think of my "ex" (or any ex or friend for that matter) on a date with a boyfriend...he orders wine...it's got my name all over it...she explains...oh...that wine is made by my "ex" at his families vinyard...uncomfortable silence ensue's...muah haha...ok...dumb fantasy...i know...whatcha gonna do...like I said...I'm drunk*

yeah...the key here...is blah, blah, blah...

school is booring...I'm used to working 65-70 hrs a week jugling both relationship and friend obligations....now, it's just me n' school...most of my friends are gone or married...the "ex" is gone...and my two-day a week job isn't stressfull...all I do is school stuff...i'm bored...so i'm a week ahead in all my classes...I got nuttin else to do. Well that, and my cultivation of a liver disease...which MUST be well on it's way be now!

yeah, so this post is no longer going anywhere...so lets just end it.

*i really gotta stop typing these things at 4am after working*

not fair...

2006-09-05T18:46:00.000-04:00

I had an iteresting, beautifull, super cool friend of mine tell me that she's always had a crush on me....then give me a kiss....this only two days before she's leaving, out of state, to go live with her fiancee....

seriously...what the hell.

maybe he'll do something stupid and screw it up....what a horrible thing to say *bad john*

My Mantra...

2006-08-30T17:02:00.002-04:00

these last few days...I've had a Mantra going through my head...over and over...as I walk through campus...

"dont look, she's too young for you"
"dont look, she's too young for you"
*look*
"ahh! stop looking...she's too young for you"

It's been both necessary...and pretty damn hilarious...
just thought I'd share.

College ID

2006-08-28T19:33:00.000-04:00

So I went in to get my new msu id card, mainly because it's much cheaper to use their gym than the "Y"...whose membership I had already cancelled. Anyhow, I went in...sat in the chair and had my picture taken...

The lady turns to me with a slight chuckle and says..."well you've got some options.." Now I knew she only took one picture so I figured...ok, different background choices or color schemes...you know something fun like that...

She spins the monitor around...and here kept on record, one of the many things I'd like time to fade away...was photographic evidence of how long my msu visit has been...

First was the hippie john, shaggy if you will (my old nickname)...long curly "locks"...hemp necklace I'm pretty sure I made and lost at a rave years later...and a look on my face that said..."If I'm not stoned now...I soon will be". Most shocking was of course just how damn young I looked...I mean...I looked all of maybe 16...

next was Raver john...well maybe post-raver...and well into "not so crazy, dancing guy"...not quite to my "too cool to show how much I'm enjoying this music guy"...I was wearing my grey (gray?) Triple-five soul hoodie, HUGE barbell earings and my favorite leather necklace. My hair looked matted from the "independant" hat that I had most likely been forced to take off. My look this time was "I know things" with a touch of "I'm WAY too cool, so i'm gonna look tough in this picture"....

then finally...current john...kinda embarrased at how old i am going back to school...wearing my trademark black t-shirt...and tired eyes...skin a tad "leathery" looking compared to the fresh-faced previous versions...simple plug earings...black hair, spikey and messed up...this time with a look of smug indifference...maybe a touch of my Posed-face-look that I always seem to end up with in pictures...either way, it was obvious I was in desperate need of an espresso.

The ID attendant knew my obvious choice...we exchanged a few sentences mainly consisting of different versions of "holy crap I've been coming here a long time" and "wow, my LOOK changed alot over said years"...then the extra fun "I should see all the ID's she's had!"...

I only hope my msu attendance is breif enough that I dont need to put any other versions "on record"....

wow...sorry

2006-08-20T07:33:00.000-04:00

yeah,...so much updating is needed...

the basic "jist" is that I went from 65-70 hours a week at work...and now i'm "rockin" 25-35...

with half the "dedicated" work time than I'm used to in the last two years...well...i've been...goin crazy....like REALLY crazy..."case in point"!!!.....it's 6am...on a Saturday (well technically Sunday morning)...i'm STILL awake...and drunk (and other things)...I'm pretty sure my liver hates me...it's probably on strike right now...marching around my pancreas (sp?) with a sign that reads something along the lines of "stop abuse" or "moderation now!"....or whatever.

I'm acting 20 in body that has 27 year old limits...the excess of youth, with the physical consequences of age...the attitude I love with the "jade-ed-ness" i've grown in to...

why is it, that once we realize the joy's and indestructable pleasure of youth...we are...at that time...usually...to destructable and morbid...to REALLY let go of our pre-conceved notions regarding wisdom and the reality of life...to truly enjoy the the return to innocence that we deserve....

has my memory faded so much...or has my view on "what was" become a "veil"...covering what I've been....

Or is this all just the ramblings of an insomniac drunk??

Promise....

If I remember...(big IF)...when I awake...I'll "fill in the blanks" tomorrow....I promise....

of course, by promise...I mean....do my best to accomplish....so...we'll see....

night!night!

record on repeat

2006-08-11T16:19:00.000-04:00

I have a song that's been playing in my head for about 2 days straight...although it is a beautiful song...and the set of lyrics dancing in my mind are amazing...I'm hoping that writing them down here will "release" them and the death-grip they have on my short term memory right now...

You helped the start of me
Your breath is every part of me
The blessings of catching your heaven
This is my eternity

you see I can make the heavens cry
and I can make the oceans sigh
but it doesnt matter if you are not by my side
your the only reason that I try
when I look at you I see the dawn of a brand new day in your eyes...
-fertile ground- "you take me higher"

this whole thing plays with a breakbeat style R&B jazz sound...think old erika badu....
well hopefully that does it...we'll see...
Man I wish I knew how to "attach" an mp3 sample to a website...cuz i'd love to put a sample of it you all could download here....(any help on this one appreciated)

WooHoo

2006-08-10T14:27:00.000-04:00

Today is my last "full' day at my job!! Tomorrow I quit...To celebrate, I'm going to drink (big surprise), play online poker, watch late-night TV, and plan an "adventure" for next monday that starts mid-day...Maybe a little trip to my favorite deli place (zingermans)...for some good eating. (it's about an hour away)

check out zingerman's at http://www.zingermans.com/Index.pasp

Where everybody knows your name...

2006-08-08T16:13:00.000-04:00

That damn "cheers" theme song is all I could think of, as I sit in the dark corner of a local bar. Some "hippie jam-band" played something that droned on in my ears...god, and people call techno repetitive...the crowd happily danced to some imaginary beat. I say imaginary because they certainly weren't following the one I was hearing...and everyone seemed to be dancing to a different one. Looked like the time of their lives though...so I'll give em' that.

Do you ever notice that when you want to go get a drink and be alone someplace where noone knows you....you're bound to be greeted by 20 friends. Seriously...maybe this is just a small town phenomenon...but "people" are unescapeable...

Oh yeah, had a shot of tequila...one of my favorites...wanted a little Tabasco in the bottom of it...(good stuff)...I tipped the hot sauce gingerly only to find the little pour spout had been removed. So what came out wasn't "drip drip drip" but more of a "glug glug glug" of fire-death-heat filling the shot glass that was...only moments before, pretty and golden and yummy. Now i'm not one to waste tequila...and I "made my bed"...so now I "gotta sleep in it"...much to the gasp and horror of my friends...and the even more frightened waitress...I think she was on the verge of the "diving leap" to knock the shot glass from my hand. Silly waitress, I'm way too quick with a drink for a mere-mortal to beat me.
The shot was horrible...but I made sure to not let that be evident on my face *lies*...I was stoic and steadfast *more lies*...and certainly didn't gag *yeah, you guessed it...lies*
My only solice came from random patron was so agasp...he bought me another, this time un-tainted, tequila shot...as a reward for my bravery.

thank god for heartburn meds...

Weekend Update...

2006-08-07T09:53:00.000-04:00

Nothing much to report...I spent most of my weekend in bed feeling somewhat depressed, bored, and annoyed...

Friday night- Some annoying Metal band with all 20 of their friends in attendance, and noone else. Afterwards one of our waitresses decided I needed to come party with her college friends...I figured "what the hell"...might as well go hang out with some college girls. Big mistake!...I was pretty much annoyed the moment any of them spoke...which just made me miss my "ex"...so I only stayed about an hour to be polite.

Saturday night- PM Dawn....that's right the R&B act from the early 90's played. They weren't bad, but fell pretty short from good as well. They were supposed to show up at 5pm for "sound check"...instead they rolled up at 12:45am...about 45mins AFTER they were supposed to have started...has-been-premadonna's...whatever...it was still a fun show...

That's it...Sunday I ate sushi...correction WAY TOO MUCH sushi. I mean, I got problems...there needs to be a warning label akin to ciggaretes surgeon gen. warning....something like "Caution: It's easy to overestimate how much sushi you need to be full. Decide on what you want, then order HALF that amount...trust us, it'll be enough". Of course the menu's dont have those labels so my fate was sealed...and that was the only time I left my bed all day sunday...to eat excessively.

Oh yeah, the 2 day trip with the "ex" is off again...apparently the reason she's been acting "strange" over the phone and when it comes to making plans is...she's got a (summer fling) boyfriend...I kinda figured anyhow. She's still going back to Baton Rouge for school, so the "relationship" is pretty much doomed...although she is taking him to meet her mother...instead of our trip...annoying. I've been treated better by enemies...maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment...Ah, I love my pathetic love-saga....will it never end.

hmmm..

2006-08-04T15:47:00.000-04:00

ok, I've been trying to avoid this, but it's not happening. I try to keep this blog "lighthearted"...but this is on my mind alot, and it's MY blog...so too bad.

Every time i look at the news I'm slowing beginning to HATE Israel...it's people...or anyone that supports them...I know "hate" is a strong word...but I dont know any other word that's bigger than "disgruntled, disgusted, and angry with" ...so "hate" is where I gotta be.

I know I'm gonna catch shit for this...oh well. And NO this doesn't mean I'm anti-semetic...I have nothing against the religion of Judaism...just Israel.

If you disagree...no offense...I dont care...and dont want to hear about it (you obviously dont know what you're talking about)...thats all...let the attack on me, that will probably happen anyway, begin...

Construction

2006-08-04T15:35:00.000-04:00

I just need to complain real quick...

Michigan has just about the worst roads in the nation. This is kinda ironic considering we are the birthplace of the vehicle. Not to mention, public transportation is pretty much "nil"...auto companies being the largest employers in the state means the state doesn't much care for anything not auto-related. So the roads here being terrible is kinda rediculous. It stand to reason though; we have cold winters and hot humid summers...this takes it's toll...i get it.

The real problem comes from the fact that our summers are soo short that all construction/road repair must be fit into a very short period of time. Right now in michigan there is a total of one...I repeat ONE...highway that doesn't have construction on it. This is according to the news...but quite frankly I haven't found that "one" yet.

Anyway...I'm tired of detours, long waits behing big trucks, and avoiding orange cones every time I get in my car. I'm just not OK with it. I dont like a 30min drive becoming a full hour trek through a maze of lazy union workers unused cranes and steamrollers...not to mention more driving when gas is $3.20 a gallon...boo...boo I say...boo.

sorry, just needed to vent.

OK, OK....here's a picture...

2006-08-01T17:40:00.000-04:00

Wow...I look rediculous...but yes, this is me doing my best George Micheal impression...wait; 80's George...not "getting caught in bushes" George...just want to clarify.

*sidenote* I got's me a hell of a "think i'm way too cool, gangsta lean" going on here...too bad you cant see the self-bleached jeans too well.

Weekend Review...

2006-07-31T17:07:00.000-04:00

Ah yes, the weekend in spotlight...My working party...my chore of fun...that's right, my bartending notes.

Friday night- Local event promoter was leaving town with his girlfriend who was leaving to complete school. Now this girlfriend is a bartender as well at a nice hole-in-the-wall place down the road (5mins) from my house. So needless to say the two of them throwing a going away party was good news to me...All bar staff and bands in the crowd. Loosely translate that into guaranteed good tips...Lets just say I made more this night than I had 4 other bar shifts combined...ahh, bills say goodbye!

Saturday afternoon...I didn't get out of bed except to drink a slimfast shake...drink a coke "zero"...and put my contacts in.

*Sidenote*_ Coke "zero" is the most amazing thing ever! I'm a "I only drink water, no pop/soda for me" kinda guy. Hell the closest I used to get was mineral water (cuz its carbonated)...But now...my fridge is always STOCKED full of Coke "zero". No calories, no carbs, no high-fructose corn stuff, no nuttin', but lots O' flavor...this is a train you need to get abord. I realize I sound like an advertisement here, and for that, I appologize...but seriously...try it.

*where was I?? Oh yeah*

So i sat in bed watching DVD's on my laptop, surfing the web etc...good times...

when I finally "rose" I ate two steaks then went to work...tough life I know.

Saturday night- Nothing special...a little house music, a little techno, a little Jungle. I ran into a DJ I used to know years ago...Actually if I remember correctly, a girl I used to date cheated on me with him...although it wasn't really cheating, since It was a 3 week relationship and I hadn't actually slept with the girl yet (I was pretty young) But "water under the bridge"...It was fun reminissing about old-school rave days in Detroit.

Sunday...the big "kicker"!! One of my fellow bartender's and a close friend is leaving for Chicago to go to Law school...I love this girl. When you talk about cool, she's it. When I first met her she was just some girl my buddy was dating that I thought was too hot for him, I wasn't jealous mind you...but proud of him. And mentioned said fact to my girlfriend at the time (the ex I always talk about) *you can also read the previous sentences as...you cant be jealous of your boy and a girl he's with when you have a girl of your own**

Anyhow, we obvously thew her a going away party...which, of couse HAD to be an 80's dance party...and HAD to be karaoke too...which, at this point might as well add costume party too....So we had an 80's theme karaoke costume dance party for her...

So I had tried for weeks to find a Ferris Beuller outfit...to no avail (leopard print vests not easy to come by). So my fall back, and as it turns out, far funnier outfit...was George Micheal!! Yup, I bleached out a pair of womens jeans I bought (coincidentally I bleached them for WAY too long)....found a cheap cross earring...feathered my hair back..."wife beater" tank-top...black leather jacket...oh yeah! I even went so far as to cut the jeans up...including the trademark 80's rips that go just below the but...you ladies know the one's I mean. I looked rediculous...it was great. Everyone sang horribly, me included, and we loved it...

*Sidenote*_Reason for womens jeans...nothing for men was tight enough to get that 80's feel...it's also handy (not at all) to know what womens garments size I am...(size 8 for those who are curious)

Anyhow, A good time was had by all...and if I get brave, I'll post some pictures for later.

weekend updates...

2006-07-24T13:31:00.000-04:00

If any of you are familiar with living in a college town you understand that there are many benefits and many problems...some more obvious than others...

In the hospitality industry....as in restaurants, bars, clubs, etc....the big problem is summer. During the summer, just like here outside Michigan State University, there is a considerable number of people "gone" from the city...(about 45,000 less here). Most of the students go home or are on vacation...which means those of us who depend on tips from customers have a huge disadvantage...

Basically everyone I know that is a waiter or bartender is really poor during the summer. At this point the summer in nearing it's close...which means we've all pretty much exhausted any savings we might have amassed and are now "running on fumes" financially speaking. The whole point here is that it was, once again, really slow this weekend. Now I'm a really fast bartender (not bragging just being honest...ok, kinda bragging)...as a fast bartender...I DONT LIKE MOVING SLOWLY...if i'm not sweating, i'm not working (granted i dont sweat, but you get my point). Students come home!

friday=slow...some annoying rock show...I think i actually saw a mullet...or "Moo-lay" the french pronunciating...you know "business in the front, party in the rear"...good times...who's doing this persons hair anyhow. what self-respecting hair stylist...can sit silent, and not say..."you know this hairstyle you love so much...yeah, it's the butt of like EVERY single joke about hair. and I refuse to cut it!" But i keep seeing em' and trailer parks of the world are still filled with em'...I cant explain it.

Sat=slow... This is great...some guy ordered a drink...total: $4.50...proceeds to hand my coworker $4.00 and takes .50 off our bar!! Yeah, MY MONEY to pay for HIS DRINK. We stood shocked...one; he did it right in front of us. two; he did some stupid sheeping grin as we watched him...as if to say "look how cheap I am...silly customer...teehee". Now, after me and my coworker got over our amazement, I jumped into action...*cue superhero music*

Dialogue as follows:
I said: "what the FUCK do you think your doing"
Customer: "shocked look" (i cant believe he was surprised)
Me: *takes his full beer dumps it out into sink*
him: "dude...I...that's my beer, I fucking paid for that!"
Me: "I make $3.00 an hour and live off tips...you want to be a cheap looser and not tip, fine. But you had the Balls to STEAL my money to pay for your beer...so .50 of that beer belonged to me"
**the crowd was now transfixed on this scene**
Him: *sheepish response as he's embarrased by the crowd that's formed* "yeah, but you dumped the WHOLE beer"
Me: "my .50 was at the bottom" "now get the fuck out of my bar" *security escorting him out*
*me, coworker, crowd...big grins*

I love being a "dick"...and you can bet everyone not only was laughing...but they ALL tipped on their next drink...

Sunday: I was in "a mood"..and wandered into a local mexican place..sat on the rooftop in the sun and drank a couple margaritas and ate free chips, salsa, and guacamole (the manager is a friend of mine...hence, free)

thats all that happend this weekend except for a quick 3 minute psuedo-conversation with the "ex" where she cancelled one of our planned road trips till she has a better idea of her schedule in august...whatever, I stopped expecting her plans to involve me a few weeks ago.

Oh yeah, and my sister came home from our families vinyard in Italy with a cool "Italia" shirt...thanks sis...oh by the way "from this time" link is my sisters' blog...

TAGGED yeah you got me...

2006-07-21T11:51:00.000-04:00

I act like these are a pain...but it's all a facade...I love em'

5 Things always in my wallet/purse:

1-debit/credit cards
2-never enough cash…with a lottery ticket mixed in (no I don’t think I’ll win but I’ll spend a dollar on anything, might as well be a 1 in 178000000 chance to be rich)
3-driver's license & voter registration card
4-all those stupid buy 10 get one free punch cards
5-the phonenumber that my ex wrote down when we first met years ago(hopeless romantic)…and the phonenumber of some random cute girl I got the number of…but forgot to write down her name (ok, I’m pig too, I know)

5 Things always in my refrigerator:

1-good wiskey, better tequila, decent white wine (just in case)
2- slim-fast shakes
3-avocados (best snack ever...seriously i checked)
4-parmesean cheese
5-a variety of espresso grounds to choose from
*and that’s pretty much it. If I cook it, I buy it that day*

5 Things always in my closet: (this should read “closets”..plural; I have 2)

1-FILLED with clothes I don’t wear (the ones I wear are on the floor)
2-a box of “memories” (about the ex) I assembled so they were available but not always visible
3-a box of “memories” (from my raver party years) I assembled so they were available but not always visible
4-my original comfort toy from my childhood (Thumper stuffed animal) *wanna fight about it*
5-there may even be a small stash of porn from years ago…just being honest here…

5 Things always in my car: (I’m adding a sixth…sorry)

1-CD's in cases ( about 150 in my car alone)
2-CD's on the floor (about half that don’t skip at this point)
3- the 3 bags of clothes I’ve been meaning to take to good-will/charity for the last 5years…(and yes they’ve been in the trunk almost that long…sad huh?)
4-empty water bottles and slim fast cans
5- loose change…lots of it.
6- a change in shoes, a spare tshirt, spare jeans…with deodorant & cologne (because you should always be prepared for an adventure)

5 Things always on my desk:

1-Aveda chap stick
2-phone/computer
3-starbucks cups
4-assorted pens
5-hodge-podge of loose papers

Who I’m “tagging”….well if you read mine I know who you are than consider yourself “tagged”….and a fine how-do-you-do (thanks/hello/etc) to McBlogger for “tagging” me.

I always seen to get hurt

2006-07-20T13:41:00.000-04:00

Thats right folks...I'm injured again...you may have seen a brief reference to this on my other blog, but I dislocated my shoulder. This is a very painfull endeavor for those who didn't realize it...In fact its one of those things that make you "well up" in tears no matter how much of a "tough guy" you may be. I dont even want to get into the "how" and "when" of it all...just know that I was a tad bit not sober and a lotta bit uncoordinated and even more bit unlucky in the way i fell. Bartending should be interesting left handed this weekend...hmm.

a little FCF on Sat....

2006-07-16T04:00:00.000-04:00

This is me in T.C....(northern michigan) on the friends' boat/yacht.....
It's my attempt to do a "candid" self-portrait...

The walking dead...

2006-07-13T10:47:00.000-04:00

Not literally of course...My heart still beats within my chest...I still feel pain and hunger in a normal mortal fashion...although I do feel a strange craving for "brains!" *moaning voice* but that might not mean anything...but I've been so busy with commuting every morning that when I get home I'm too tired to work out (I feel soo unhealthy and gross), but too exited to be home (read: not at work) and too bombarded by errands that I dont get to sleep till late (kitti was angry; no food)...

So far, the last three nights have provided me with 4 hours, 4 hours, and 5 hours of sleep...that's it...just 13 hours total in three days...and no end in sight.

I'm not sure how I'm even upright right now...typing is difficult...So if you open up your door today only to find herds of people stumbling down the street with a glazed look in their eyes...maybe even moaning "brains" every now and again. Dont be worried, there's nothing to be afraid of...if you must "arm" yourself against the masses...may I suggest a pillow and a gentle pat on the head...these poor wayward souls aren't zombies...just people like me...the sleep deprived...the walking dead

we'll talk again soon

Updates, Updates, Updates

2006-07-10T10:29:00.000-04:00

First and foremost, it's been a while I realize...and for that, my humblest appologies...to those to emailed me complaining about said-fact...thank you for pushing me back in the sadle...

Wow...where to begin, hmm.

Over the 4th of July, for those overseas...an important American holiday that marks our independence from being ruled unfairly without proper representation from a government that had no idea what it was like feeling dis-enfranchised....in other words, kinda like right NOW in the US...but I digress.

Over the Fourth I went and visited the "ex" up in T.C., a northern michigan town that is beautiful, quaint, and makes decent wine...not a bad combo. We had a good, however brief time together...she was, unfortunately called into work only a few hours into our evening...such is life. So I wandered the beach, and waded through drunken 20-23yr olds, only to run into a few I knew from working at the bar. I spent a hour or two on their boat/yacht...before i became annoyed and began the long drive home.

Other than that, I've been busy with both works.

Day job...has decided to consolidate it's two corporate offices into one...sounds good right...eerrrhh! *buzzer noise* It means I now commute and hour to work..booo. I NEED to quit.

Evening job...well I still love bartending so whatcha gonna do? Funny stuff though. Our boss decided to bring up "underlings" to bartender status...problem: only one of the four is worthy/good...allow me to explain.

-girl 1- has worked with us for 3 months...she has so little personality I STILL don't know her name and she doesn't speak at a volume above wisper and no Bartending experience..bad choice, obviously.

-girl 2- Bardenting experience, good persoanlity, all around cool chick...but wait...she's a 6'5" 200+lbs and kinda "goth-ish". She's been "bouncing" grown men out of the club with ease, and I know she's cool and deserves a chance...but I know that and she STILL scares me. How's random customer gonna feel??? My only hope is maybe they'll tip her out of fear....(although she is well known in the "hard rock" circles...and that'll help)

-girl 3- This ones classic, yeah you guessed it....really really hot...but really really dumb. She might as well be a houseplant behind the bar...just set her in the corner to make the place look pretty, but keep her out of my way so I can serve drinks...oh well, at least she'll make tips.

-dude 1- No complaints, he's gonna be sweet...just need to learn HOW to bartend.

Other than that: I dont work out enought lately, I dont sleep enough lately, and I dont meet any women that dont annoy me endlessly...except of couse for the one I've already dated!

last night...

2006-06-29T12:05:00.000-04:00

Spent money I didn't have on alcohol I didn't need...which provided me the hangover I'm currently enjoying...oh wait, did I say "enjoying", well think the opposite of that. Of course I also ate food I wouldn't ever even put close to my body, at a time of night that in no way required additional food.

Just thought I'd share my alcohol induced dehydration misery with the rest of you.

What is it in us that compells us to do things we know we shouldn't...that we know we'll regret...not only the next day...but sometimes mere moments after????? Are we driven toward stupidity like cattle?

Does everyone do this?...or am I the lone lemming runner over every available cliff?

weekend update

2006-06-26T12:16:00.000-04:00

ahh, the weekend update...a quick foray into the mundane and repetative world I live. hmmm, lets see...

Fri- Bartending...I have this problem see, I'm never on time for anything. I like to blame it on my Itallian heritage. The whole relax with a esspresso in one hand overlooking rolling hills of grapes and olives mentallity that seems to seep into every aspect of my life. Whatever, I just have no concept of time! So I show up about 7 mins late for work. Upon arriving someone cheered, the rest sighed...seems they've taken to betting drinks on how late i'll show up...the manager bet on 7 past the hour...so the other bartenders each owed him a drink. Kinda sad that my tardiness has become so commonplace that it no longer angers them...but instead has degraded to a form of entertainment...oh well. The night was booring but with good music...all soul, old R&B, old hiphop, and a little reegea (I have no idea how that's spelled)

Saturday- for the last 4 years me and the "ex" would attend a local event called "fest. of the sun". It's basically a showcase of about 40 wines and 50 beers for tasting...this is all done in a huge outdoor tent system with many bands playing. Wonderfull time, great wines...and a fantastic Salsa band that I could listen to for hours. The only missing piece of an otherwise perfect event was, of course, the "ex"...but her attendance wasn't expected, so not missed as much as one would think.

That evening bartending...correction drunken bartending, not that anyone can tell in a nightclub like mine....there was a 80's dance party...all 80's music...I cant' express how much a night of eurythmics, michael jackson, flock of seagulls, ahha, etc...makes me happy to work to. Not much money...but who cares.

Sun- my god my sundays have lost their luster with the lack of soprano's to watch or a lack of girlfriend to entertain...I basically spent my whole day making (way too much) spicy chili...it'll probably serve as lunch for the entire week....but it was a fun distraction from an otherwise uneventfull day.

that's all I got...back to work...(oh wait...sweet, lunch break time...going home to have some chilli)

FCF...

2006-06-23T20:33:00.000-04:00

Well keeping with my "being too modest to post an HNT" and my "feeling dumb flexing for the masses".....I will once again put up a random picture of me of the F.C. variety. This is just after I met Stevie Wonder...some random picture with me on the left. I'm in complete shock at this point although...I realize I'm looking away.

Appology

2006-06-21T11:48:00.000-04:00

inspired by post on...Swank or Skank?

Dear HUGE wieght-lifter asshole-dudes at my gym

I'm sorry i'm in your way. I realize that your huge and I'm not. I know that it's necessary for you to look down at me even though I'm here almost as much as you, and that you feel the need to smile at me when you ADD weight to the machine I just got off of. And when you wait 5mins while I finish on a machine, I realize that you feel I should give way to the "bigger man" in you...my bad. Congrats! the tiny little muscle shirts you all wear are filled out in warped baloon-like ways..you should be proud. Even though your language skills are lacking in every other area...I'll admit; when your talking about reps, sets, or muscle mass...you sound like you may have a brain. Heres a heads-up; I judge you too...I'm just not so obvious as when you judge me. Hate to break it too you but, ...you may be able to lift more than I...but when you go out and talk to a beautiful woman all the while trying to flex and tighten your Pecs...she's looking over your shoulder wishing you were me...the skinny guy behind the bar.
and for that I really am sorry.

Word Verifications

2006-06-19T17:18:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I realize why some people feel the need to have "word verifications" on thier comments pages...but seriously some of them are rediculous...computer or not, this: "xzxcxrflopsrq" is bound to be copied wrong. Am I the only one that gets 33 letter word verifs...gimmie a break!

I think "jfhi" or "ergh" should suffice...it makes me not want to "comment" on anyone's site!!!

Are the rest of you REALLY getting a bunch of advertizements and computer generated responses??

I just hate them...and needed to share my contempt...
*hugs & kisses*
DJmet

weekend update...

2006-06-19T12:37:00.000-04:00

ok, ok...I'm back...

So what a horribly busy weekend...I was scheduled to work at the bar on thursday and friday...I was also required to attend a corporate training session one hour away all day on thursday and friday and saturday...now lets run through the problem with this scheduling...ready
*wed*...normal 9am-5pm day....followed by a dj gig from 10pm to 12am...went to bed at 3am...
*thurs morning*!!!! 7am wake (4hrs of sleep)...8am driving...9am-6pm training...6pm driving...7pm get changed (i'm a "primper" it takes a while)...8pm-4am bartending...5am sleep...
*friday morning now*!!7am wake (thats right 2 hours of sleep)....8am drive...9am-6pm training...6pm drive...7pm change...8pm-4am bartend..5am sleep
**you tired yet...cuz at this point i'm freaking exhausted!!**
*sat morning* 7am wake (2 hours again)...8am drive...oops....no that was a dream...i was hallucinating...I never woke up saturday morning...at this point when my alarm went off...I decided i'd rather be fired than go another 19 hour work day on 2 hours sleep...

Saturday night...one of my best friends in town...to give you an idea..this friend (female) is already prepared for the fact that if/when I get married she's standing up with my groomsmen wearing a black dress and a bowtie(matching colors to guys' ties)...anyhow...some friend of hers was getting married and I went with her. Open bar!! thank god. I spent most of the night coming up with crazy mix drinks for people to try...the bartender that worked there didn't know what to make of me. Theres a huge difference between an occasional bartender that works catering events and a REAL bartender. needless to say...all i remember was at some point breaking into the pool and hottub at the hotel which was locked...but somehow we got in...and then passing out still in my CK dress suit...which now desperately needs a dry clean and pressing.
good times...but i'm too old for this shit...

Sunday...slept...and ate...I think I gained about 10 pounds this weekend...I feel gross...I may LIVE at the gym the next couple days...I'll need to.

Back to Basics

2006-06-14T14:54:00.000-04:00

This is the basic internal joy I'm looking to find in my life...

This is my "inner self"...not necessarily the perverted part...just the appreciation of the simple pleasures and youthfull exuberance than I, untill recently had never been without...I think I just need some (figurative) dresses to look up, some trees to climb, and some imaginary games to win....

Pissy mood

2006-06-13T16:54:00.000-04:00

I'm just in a pissy mood today...that's all...wanted to dump the load partially upon other people...I appologize.

Anyone got anything to cheer me up? story?funny thought?hopefull idea?anything really...

signed
Angry man

weekend update...

2006-06-12T12:19:00.000-04:00

Not much to cover here...

Fri- Booring night at the club, so much so that I actually forgot who played...there was a great live electro show by Aux88 that my friend was throwing at a different club (I realize aux88 probably means nothing to you...but trust me...its a big deal)...I was going to go to that show...but the other bartender was sick...Her words "no, you should go, I'll stay...If a band I liked was playing you'd stay for me!" my response "yes, I would...but if I was sick...you wouldn't let me...so go the hell home and get some rest" It was the right thing to do, but man, did I want to catch that group.

Sat- Djed at my club...opened for Terrence Parker (House dj) my set was ok...not fantastic...his was the same...the crowd was kinda "thin" but a bunch of friends came from surrounding cities (detroit, etc)....My "ex" almost came to visit for the show...she called saying she wanted to...then later decided that the 3hr drive was just too much for as tired as she was...would have been nice to see her...but no big...

Sun- Grill, grill, grilll...rented movies...that's pretty much it...

wow, I think I used to be a much more exciting person...what's going on...

FCF??

2006-06-09T10:57:00.000-04:00

So no HNT yesterday...but not for lack of wanting...just noone to take the picture...so instead I've opted for a FCF...thats right...Fully clothed Friday...basically just some random pictures of me...good times.
So this is two of my best friends and me in the middle slumping drunkenly against the table at the Electronic Festival in Detroit a few weeks ago...and since it's fully clothed...we'll rock one more too...Me in Louisiana eating a bunch of boiled crawfish...so spicy...I can still feel the delicious burn that was tempered only by the excessive starch of potato and the sip's of my margarita...

sorry

2006-06-08T11:02:00.000-04:00

No HNT....I really wanted to do one too...but there's noone around at my house to take the picture...Possibly tonight...I know I promised some of you...well I'm working on it.

In my mouf like a disco bawl

2006-06-06T14:59:00.000-04:00

So I used the new grill today...after a good deal of maneuvering to get it from my living room, where it was idiotically assembled, to my backyard...where it will most likely be stolen, if I dont get a lock on it soon.

I ate grilled teriaki (spelling?) chicken with corn on the cob that I soaked in sugar water then grilled with the husk still attached....

Sooooo good.

anyone have a fun grilling idea/recipe/menu/glaze/technique...or whatever...please let me know...I'm breaking this thing in morning, noon, and night. Not to mention I want to make the "ex" a fun meal when she comes into town.

weekend updates...

2006-06-05T15:00:00.000-04:00

Slow weekend...but:

We cancelled our Hip-hop night due to the increasing violence...what does that mean; well it means less money on Saturday bartending shifts for one, but less "ghetto" clients to deal with. What does it mean for the club? It mean there have already been two articles about us being racist for cancelling the night. Unbeleivable! I can't believe people have the "balls" to associate a night like this with their culture enough to be angry and un-understanding with our desire to "not get shot" by not supporting hiphop.

If they wanted to support the "culture" they should convince all the "thugs" to not shoot people...not try and convince clubs that it's no big deal. If we cancelled the Rock shows because too many people were getting hurt in mosh pits (which they dont) noone would be stupid enough to say we arent supporting "the culture"...When we stopped having as many big "rave" style events that 18yr olds came too and did drugs at...we didn't get complaints of being anti-young stupid white kids....

I mean we have jazz, tejano, and yes even hiphop nights still...we just dont play top 40 crap MTV thugged-out hiphop on Saturday nights anymore...but sure...we're racist...

Sorry, kinda went on a tangent there...I just dont think avoiding being shot constitutes charges of bigotry...I wonder how many accusers of bigotry were the one's shooting-up the place?

ON A LIGHTER NOTE....

I got a big grill for my birthday...yeah! Now I can grill things every day...It's so much healthier...I cant wait...although it did take me 3 hours to assemble the damn thing.

My "ex" is back from Italy/Paris!! She called me and gave me a few "highlights" of the trip...she's in Baton Rouge now...but she'll be in Michigan soon...sweet! should make for an interesting summer.

I was "booked" to open for a Dj named Terrence Parker...he's amazing...cant wait to play with him...last time I played with him was years ago...should be a good crowd.

ummm...ok, yeah...thats it.

strange start to another year

2006-06-01T17:27:00.000-04:00

Ok...my night last night was soo strange I have to write it down...hopefully this post isn't too long...

First, I wasn't planing to go anywhere but a friend convinced me that a glass of wine at a local "wine night" was just what the doctor ordered (i need to switch to that doctor)...Ordered a nice bottle of white to compliment the warm evening...and a little artichoke dip as well. I was saying hello to the people I knew there, relaxing, etc. When some random girl approached my seat at the bar, told me and my friends, "oh my god, you need to save me" asking what she needed...she began eating our dip...perplexed and mouths agape we watched as she looked at us with "bug eyes" and literally fed herself handfulls of dip and then finished off the last bit on the serving spoon....by licking it.

The "shock and awe" we felt was all that kept us from yelling at her...we simply stared and choked back our laughter at the sight of a crazy and overweight...but otherwise normal looking girl..."shovel" food...OUR FOOD...into her face. Before stumbling off into the night...she turned to us...said...no yelled, "jesus christ! are you seeing this!" Big surprise, nothing was happening.

I wanted to be angry...but it was just too damn funny...a slow night...is now going to be very memorable...and it only gets better...

Second thing, finish my evening procede outside the bar on this busy college towns' street...some friends motion me over to the building across the street. The building in question is a recently closed down and boarded up old bank...my immediate respose is "what the hell are we doing over here"

They look left...look right..."GO GO GO, hurry" is all I hear as they lift up a piece of plywood that's loose to reveal a...deffinately illegal...entrance in.

So here we are wandering through an old bank with only the light of our cell phones to guide us...paper everywhere, the old vault (too cool), and other random objects litter the floor. We make our way slowly to the top floor and the roof...someone pulls a bottle of wine out and we begin drinking and...I can only describe it as "romping" around...the rooftop of this building that overlooks the city. Looking out at everyone below and feeling strangely euphoric...

It make for an interesting if not different begining to the newest year of my life...hopefully the theme of adventure can continue anther 365...

Numb

2006-05-31T11:32:00.000-04:00

A recent post and subsequent comments on Cigar Tragic by ana va havana found here: http://anavahavana.blogspot.com/

Have reminded me of something i have to talk about.

A mystery of sorts...Something I miss very much...the interesting juxtaposition of pain and comfort that comes with sleeping beside a woman. Nothing feels better that a warm female body pressed against yours while sleeping...nothing. Problem is this; you have two major options...

1. she sleeps on your shoulder/arm facing you....

2. she turns away...you wrap your arms around her...

No matter how you sleep, by morning (or sometimes just a few hours), your arm is "dead"...you cant feel it. Occasionally you can't move it...and sometimes it really hurts to move it...it's unavoidable. Now dont' all you women start giving us some sort of sleeping distance, the fact is...as painfull as it may be...I wouldn't have it any other way. We LOVE it...we NEED it...it's been long enough now, that I MISS it.

It's just one of those things about being the guy...there's just no place to put that arm. Every guy has tried multiple options. The arm just above her head...not a bad one...but also not comfortable...now YOUR weight is killing your arm...not nearly as good. Pillow on the arm...not bad, but now either you share one pillow...or the pillow is in your face and you dont get that nice "back of her neck and hair" smell to sleep to. (I may sound crazy, but trust me, your man knows what i'm talking about) or worse...you cant breathe at all. There's just no way to have the best of both worlds. Then comes the problem of; I'm awake need to move...how to do it without waking the girl? Eventually you just give up and go back to sleep. (this must be why men can "hold off" going to the bathroom so much longer than women!) With all the modern advances in the world...I need a way to have a womans body pressed close....without Phantom limb consequences...

I still have to find the woman...but when I do...I need some freakin options over here!!

DEMF

2006-05-30T14:35:00.000-04:00

So I spent this past memorial day weekend pretending to be ab0ut 5 years younger than I really am. By that I mean drinking excessively...staying up till 6am...dancing till my legs gave out...etc.

I saw some amazing acts...primarity people that I'd bet money you've never heard of, so I'm not going to bother listing them...but trust me, some amazing music! I slept on friends floors...got about 7 hours sleep total in 3 days...I'm at work right now only half concious, and seriously, I'm having trouble WALKING.

Another thing crossed my mind. When I used to come to this show in previous years I'd drive myself and hang with noone....that way I wasnt' beholden to what anyone else wanted to do...Including my girlfriend at the time. Looking back, that was idiotic...I should have enjoyed the weekend with the girlfriend when I had the chance...I had more fun being obligated (to people) this year than I have in all the years I was strict about not promising my time to her....hmm. She's in Paris this week...

So it's about 90 degrees (fahrenheit for you "over the pond" folk) and last night I didn't have my A/C hooked up yet...man was that bad sleep.

So It's my birthday this Thursday...I'm planning to do nothing...last year the "ex" took me to the zoo...I love zoo's I'm not sure why. I think it's some sort of re-living my childhood type thing...just makes me feel "cozy"...maybe I'll go to a local zoo and just chill out. We'll see.

That's all I got...I'm too tired...If I dont stop, I'll just ramble on forever.

The reason we have ears!!!

2006-05-26T11:35:00.000-04:00

The above is a label from a Stevie Wonder remix (vinyl)...I edited it, added lyrics from my favorite heartbreak song. I did this for my background at work as a way of expressing my sadness from (at the time) my loss of love...Stevie Wonder is my musical Idol! I relate my true love with his his song "as" and my biggest heartbreak warranted "another star" to be on repeat for about a month. I own every single album he's put out on vinyl!

I tell you this not for sympathy...not to depress you...but to give you some idea the unfathomable joy I felt...upon MEETING HIM last night!!!!

He was in town (lansing, MI) recieving a lifetime acheivement award (he went to a school for the blind here in town). Now the nightclub I play at every Wednesday has a decent jazz night on Thursday...and he decided to show up. Phone calls went out to "everyone" telling of this icon actually sitting amonst mere mortals...so I cancelled all plans and promptly showed up.

Now, I'm not one to "fawn" over celebrities...I really couldn't give a shit! But Stevie! Fucking! Wonder! is a different story...If God himself had shown up as well, I may approach god give him a "good game ass slap" then casually, say "nice job on the female form, by the way...I'm a big fan of that shape...big fan" then of course while watching Stevie with me he'd turn and say " damn, you see this guy? sometimes I amaze myself...I almost feel awkward taking credit for it" That's the level I'm talking about here! Stevie makes God nervous...I dont know for sure...but lets call it an educated guess.

I approached nervously sweating from places I didn't know I had, not wanting to be a "crazy fan"...I said to a member of his entourage "listen I dont want to be an interuption to Mr. Wonder or his group...but I would like to meet him. So if there's a more appropriate way or time please let me know"..."i will" was all I got.

As the night wound to a close his friend approached me...introduced me...I shook his hand...said thank you...he asked me my name..."john" I said...my voice struggling to not shake...I told him "It's wonderfull to meet you sir""you're the reason I like music...ANY music...thank you for everything"..."my pleasure, it's been a gift to me" was his smiling response...I handed him the best album of all time (Songs in the Key of Life...as if you didn't know) and asked him if he'd sign it. He gingerly felt the edges of the vinyl, his friend handed him the pen...as his head rythmically wavered back and forth he signed "my love is with you...stevie wonder"....took a picture with a group of locals and me...then he walked off...like a combination mirage-dream-hallucination.

I'm a grown man...I swear...It was all I could do not to cry my ass off. No joke. I honestly cant think of anyone i'd rather have met.

I called EVERYONE...I only wish the "ex" wasn't un-callable in Italy right now because she's one of the few people that would understand just how much something like this means to me...

I'm still FREAKING out over here...I'm putting that album on my wall tonight.

I AM MAN!!

2006-05-23T15:05:00.000-04:00

I walk down into the depth of my basement, braving the unknown dangers of....*wait for it*...laundry! Thats right, a load of all black's...all designer labels with complicated wash instructions...*insert scary-movie noise*..."that's no danger" you say...well wait for what comes next.

I look behind me at the dingy utility bathroom as a steady "river" of water (thank god it was only water) flows from there to the drain in the middle of the room ::dramatic pause:: I freak out! I know nothing about anything handy-man-ish. So I promptly begin hitting the inner workings of the toilet with blunt objects...wiggle handle...ok, I'm out of ideas.

Off goes the water main...in I go to Home Depot...where I wimper at "handy-er" people than I. They give me replacement parts for ALL the toilet inner organs...(since I had no idea what was broke)...I return home. Unscrewing 30yr old plumbing and anything else I can unscrew within a 5 foot radius. Reservoir water soaking me. 2.5 hours later (I realize it shouldn't take that long) and parts EVERYWHERE, I get the thing apart. Then rebuild it using the "depot" provided stuff.

Now at this point realize I have no idea what i'm doing or how well i'm doing it. So upon slowly...and I mean slowly...turning back on my water mains...and NOT seeing spouts of water flowing everywhere I felt envigorated. ::neanderthal voice:: "me MAN you TOILET!""man beat toilet every time""toilet no match for man""man rub stick together make fire!!"aaaarrrrgggghhh! I felt as if I should sprout hair in strange places or grow a third testicle....something to show the level of MAN I had attained. I even called my father thinking he wouldn't believe it. I was born anew...I drank a fucking beer...crappy lite piss-colored american beer...and LOVED IT!! Nay, I shall not drink wine tonight...I'm a plumber damnit...we drink beer...and after that I'm gonna use the new toilet...

Slip'n yo

2006-05-22T16:03:00.000-04:00

I feel like my life is moving backwards...

My weekend was ultimately uneventfull...I've had the "future plans in life" decision on my mind...all else has become just background noise.

My friends party on Friday was fun...albeit predictable...

I'm DJing with a old friend who's flying in from Seattle this wednesday...should be fun...he's bringing some "big-wigs" from there...so...If I play well enough...maybe they'll fly me out for a gig or two.

The ex (I really need a better nickname for her on this thing...) is in Italy this week...Paris the next...I'm jealous. I joked with her that she'll love it...since so many boys over there look like me. Paris...I haven't been there...sounds great...but I'm too "loose" with my wallet (when it comes to shopping) to afford to go there anytime soon.

I decided that I'm never going to be happy with the amount of money I have...I need to either life a simple life without excess where i simply find joy in quite company and little moments...or win the lottery. Thing is, I'm really fond of excess....like REALLY fond of it. Oh well.

in BFE

2006-05-19T17:02:00.000-04:00

Tonight I venture to an old friends' house. He's an old dj and record label guy....him and his japanese wife will be throwing a little house party. I'll be hanging out...and lending my bartending skills to the fray! His wife who's name has three letters and one sylable (but unfortunately that's all I can remember) will be cooking...and let me tell you...she's an amazing cook...weird stuff, but delicious. It will pretty much just be a lot of old school Michigan electronic music people shmoozing about, but I'll probably run into some people I haven't seen in a long time.

So I should have a wonderfull night...assuming I get can rid of my stress-related tummy-ache.

Oh yeah...so my phone broke...i turn it on...it goes to the startup screen...then....nothing...it just freezes. So I had Cingular send me a new phone...but of course all my ringtones, themes, backgrounds and such didn't transfer...boo. I like the new phone, but I'd just rather have the old one work again. I also lost a bunch of the text's I had saved. oh well...

If memory serves...

2006-05-18T14:56:00.000-04:00

"For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings That then I scorn to change my state with kings" W.S.

Saw this online...Feels like it "fits" today...something wonderfull, even something long gone...can always bring a smile to ones' face, and brighten an otherwise cloudy disposition.

Although I wouldn't mind being king-like

=)

sometime soon

2006-05-17T15:33:00.000-04:00

I think I'll be quiting my job soon...maybe go back to school.
I dont know...I just hate it today...that's all

a rose by any other name...

2006-05-16T16:46:00.000-04:00

My trip, my trip...weekend update style how bout;

Friday night- arrived, waited about 10 mins was greeting by a hug and a smile...went walking...had a glass of wine...finished with drinks on a roof club/ sushi bar overlooking the city and the mississippi. Good conversation...It felt like I had never left.

Saturday- Crawfish boil, New Orleans, Jazz and drinks...felt "home"...like a cat on a windowsill...

Sunday- southern breakfast, praline bacon...good coffee and company...bloody mary before noon...champagne before four...TV at her apartment...movie after...

Monday- sushi and our last moments...I had missed her...

It was an amazing trip...like waking up from a deep sleep. None of the "big" questions answered...just the important smaller ones...answers like "i'll see her soon". It was like being with her always was...just without the intimacy and the "i love you's"...I dont know what that means...but there it is just the same.

almost forgot

2006-05-11T23:27:00.000-04:00

Yeah I promised an HNT...almost missed it...I'm leaving this up for maybe 4 days...max...while I'm on vacation...It's a little more skin than I wanted to show...but I haven't the time to "crop" it appropriately (nor the proper photo editing programs)...so here it is

Weekend updates

2006-05-09T14:44:00.000-04:00

Fri- rerecorded my newest dj set...it never seems to come out quite right. I wanted to have it done before my up-and-coming "trip"...but now it seems, that dream is not to be.

Sat- We changed format...all the bouncers were complaining about the violence. Please, if it weren't for the violence they wouldn't have a job! Big deal so someone ran outside saying they were going to get thier gun...woOouH ::best attempt at ghost noise:: No bouncer had ever been hurt! They're 6'2" 300lbs without a college education...they should be happy to work at a cool nightclub, drink after hours, listen to good music (sometimes), and look at cute girls...WHILE GETTING PAID. You want safe...work at Burger King. and thats all I have to say about that...

Sun- BBQ at a friends house...managed to get BBQ sauce on my pants within....hmmm...was it two or three minutes....hard to say. Oh yeah, and all my friends are having babies! scary...(well I guess some just have dogs....but still...close enough)

Last Friday...

2006-05-09T14:37:00.000-04:00

So I wenet to a play (sorta)...It was basically a VERY afrocentric musical production about the birth of motown and the people "behind the scene"...lot's of R&B/soul music. Really enjoyable, although we (me & a friend) were in the ghetto of Flint, MI...and were two of about four caucasians in the building. Which was most evident when the entire crowd would sing along and large women were saying things like "sing it, child!" or "oh lordie"...(no i'm not kidding, it was awesome)...the only down side was that they had to cut a song (they were running long)...and of course...they cut a Stevie Wonder song...for all those out there; Stevie is my musical idol...

fully clothed thursday

2006-05-04T14:02:00.000-04:00

No HNT this week. It would be unadvisable for me to take a picture of any part of my body this week. The problem is...I've been out drinking and not working out every day this week...not sure why...probably because I'm taking a weekend vacation to visit my "ex" in about 10 days and I'm subconsciously sabotaging the physique gains I've recently acquired. Maybe I just needed a break from watching my food intake and heaving inanimate blocks of metal toward the sky. HNT next week...mmkay.
Tonight I'm going with a friend (cute female...date possibility) to a play she is reviewing for a newspaper. This "play" takes place in a theater located within a (predominately black) Baptist church....and she's under the impression it will be a little ways into the "ghetto"...should be an interesting evening...to say the least. I wonder what I should wear?

Weekend Warrior-ish

2006-05-01T14:29:00.000-04:00

Once again, an eventfull weekend of bartending...

On fri nights we've been having a "homegrown throwdown" with a local radio station. Which is just an overhyped version of battle of the bands...locals trying to be not so local. Good tips...no complaints.

Saturday was nuts...for only the second time in my bars' history we had to shut a night down before it was over. I was on first floor bartending for an old-school dj from the area..and his retirement/going away party (it's like his third retirement...but this he says is in preparation for his leaving to Iraq) So I had the "good" crowd. Meanwhile upstairs a 20 person brawl happened. Which ended up in the street...which ended up in two gunshots (at least that's the rumor, you know how rumors are)...which brought the cops. Noone was hurt, it was just real ghetto. Even then we kept the night going...for about 25 more minutes till the next huge brawl upstairs...so needless to say, they turned the lights on and told everyone to get the hell out.

Yet despite all the drama...I still made decent money...go figure. My life really isn't as crazy as it sounds here...I promise...really.

Sunday was just a lot of sleep...then some chicken wings to go with my Sopranos...::drooling::

extra salt please

2006-04-28T14:31:00.000-04:00

All I want today is to leave work early...sit in the sun...and drink excessive amounts of margarita! Is that too much to ask?

First HNT!!

2006-04-26T22:46:00.000-04:00

Dont know how I feel about this...but oh well.

Can't resist...

2006-04-25T16:48:00.000-04:00

Click Clack…Click Clack…like the ticking of the clock from peter pan; if I had a moustache it would bounce in beat to each and every step a woman takes on tile floor while wearing high heels. It’s a problem I have…

We’ve all heard the cold echo of heels on a hard floor. Such a lifeless sound, that invokes in me, visions of femininity and sensuality and some irresistible urge to look and stare and wonder. Will it be stilettos and jeans, high heels and a higher skirt, or business casual with conservative pumps?? Will she be young or old, skinny or obese…do I even care?? Either way I can’t resist. I can hear it getting louder...can hear her getting closer. Like an itch on my back that I can't quite reach. I have to look. It’s that sound; I’m sure Sigmund Freud would have a field day with me on this one. Some memory from my past, some creepy way to relate linoleum and a high heel and the intoxicating sound they make when they meet to when I first realized I love women. Or, god forbid, something Oedipal and mother related...*shiver*. Who knows? But I must…no, I NEED to look…there’s no denying it...my weakness…I succumb to thee.

This is my weakness…what’s yours?

Some choices easier than others...

2006-04-17T17:07:00.000-04:00

For all you that think my life is a soap opera...boo...but I understand it. Maybe I crave the excitement that my youthfull endeavors used to provide effortlessly. This weekend was pretty tame though...

Fri Bartending...Some sort of Battle of the bands mumbo-jumbo! Someones' mother told me she loved my smile. that it "belongs in the movies, not behind a bar"...not sure if I should take that as a bit of a way-to-waste-your-talents type comment or not...but there it is either way. The show also cemented my affirmation "I hate metal"...well, not all metal-rock...just the type that involves incoherent screaming. (although the girl that was doing it, was quite impressively hardcore sounding)

Sat Bartending- The usual booty shaking....not as ghetto though, which is good. Strange...out of all the "groups" that show up. None show up as a community the same way the "Asians" do....I mean, they "roll deep". If one shows up, they ALL do. We had close to 250+ of the Asian persuasion...they tip decent too, which is all I care about.

Easter Sunday- Food with the parents...steam room...(If you've never had a "steam"...it's like a wet version of a sauna...amazing stuff)...then Sopranos....*under breath* then a cadbury creme egg.

I decided to not pursue anything with Aveda-girl...I think I need to get other parts in my life in order before, once again, attempting a relationship.

I need to "step-up" my gym workout a bit...just so you know. hey Smarty- If we both start running tward each other we'd meet up in about...216hours...then we could both give up running a while...we'd also be dead, but whatever.

weather or not?

2006-04-12T16:12:00.000-04:00

Here's a problem I have when it comes to where I should live. First off, if I'm going to leave the seasonal hell-hole which is Michigan, I might as well find the perfect place. lets make a top-10 points-of-interest, shall we.

1. Now I dont like lots of snow...but I dont mind a little now and again...it's good for a warm fire and a little hot coco (usually spiked with something like frangelico, or vanilla vodka).
2. Extreme heat, well, not so much...when you get above 95, I become a hermit...and an asshole...gimmie a little sun, but dont hurt me with it...just remind me it's there. "oh look, big burning yellow ball in the sky is still around...good to know" type shit. Also, it takes a lot for me to sweat...which is good because I dont enjoy it.
2. I like clouds...(a gay-er statement rarely is made)...I really do...not dark looming clouds but a malaise of white to break up the monotony of sunlight. For if there is no cloudy day...how can one trully enjoy the sun.
3. Thunderstorms a must...nay (that's right I say "nay"...wanna fight about it)..."a must" only begins to touch the surface of my love of rain and storm. The quiet pitter-patter of rain on cement...the distant rumble...the sound of tires on a wet road...the sqeal of women as they run to their cars....ahh...makes me happy just thinking about it.
4. Tree's and Forests...I couldn't give a shit...if they're there great, i'll hike, used to rock climb, i'll "hang"...pavement as far as the eye can see...just as good.
5. Lakes and Oceans...Invention known as a plane...everything is a day away...and I like vacations...so this one's no biggie either.
6. City and Shopping...I was a Metrosexual before there was a term for it...back when it was called "you mean he's NOT gay?""are you sure?"...thank you world for giving me a genre, eliminating my ability to be an individual....phew! a little off track there...suffice to say, I NEED a city nearby with adequate UP TO DATE shopping and style. Clubs, Boutiques, Designers, Four star cuisine, Museums, Music scene, Cultural diversity..etc
7. Sports teams...umm, not even gonna bother...I take em'...but leave em' just as quick.
8. Women...I currently live in like, the fat ugly chick capital of the world...anything except Wisconsin will most likely be an upgrade. I'm not saying I want to "whore out"...just that pleasant scenery never hurt anyone.
9. Education...I dont need much from the populace...just steer clear of back woods Virginia chainsaw massacre inbred-ville...and i'll be peachy. this usually goes with number 6,
10. I dont know...why don't you suggest some fun ones; i'm tired(you: meaning anyone who reads this)(suggest: meaning comment)(ones: hell make a list too for all I care)...**insert comment here**

Dangerous Liaisons

2006-04-10T17:13:00.000-04:00

So an iteresting topic that has come up before and I'm experiencing now...and I'm finding more and more people experiencing the same thing.

The blend of two lives...an online version of one's self...and the real life version.

Are they different? Which is more real?If you're more truthfull online do those people know you better? What about the people that get a public version of self but have been in your physical presence many times? Do they know you better? Is physical contact necessary to foster a real relationship? Is the online community and it's growing relevance/popularity in society say anything with regard to peoples ability to interact or their fear of interaction...

I dont know...I'm sure this has already been a topic EVERYWHERE...but I haven't cared till now.

uncomfortable silences...

2006-04-09T16:10:00.000-04:00

I'm going to forgo my usual update on the bartending weekend for a slightly more...hmm...(pressing, interesting, disturbing, real....yuk, hate them all) lets go with "pressing"....issue.

So my "ex" that i'm finally able to start comunicating with...and was/am planning to visit....decided to google herself. Now I dont remember putting her full name into my Feb.20th post...but either way, she found it...and could have probably found it by googling my name too...

Now she's honest enough, that she felt so guilty/awkward for having read my entire blog that she called me....at least that part is cool. But, the fact remains that she got way too much of an insight into my personal communications and internal monolouge; turned blog. Now most things were good....some bad. But I had that hot rush of blood then churning belly feeling (same one you get when you know an uncomfortable "talk" is coming)....and had to deal with the fact that a lot of what I say is "off the hip" not necessarily well thought out to convey the right meaning should someone I know read it.

*sidenote* I speak clearer when walking....helps focus me, I think...talk with her...I walked about a mile+....ended up at a coffee shop though...so that's cool...I love my caffeine

talk went well....but suffice to say, it almost re-implanted the wedge that had nuzzled itself between us for so long....trip still on...and did get a chance to say some things I had wanted to...and I feel she did too. I still feel a tad violated...but it's my fault I suppose...I would have read hers if she had a blog.

So anyway that's my update...she could be reading this too....so yippie! there. I took my name off the title and eliminated her name almost completely...I wonder how long it'll take for google to update??? Anyone know the answer to this??Soon please??I now see, what should have been the obvious, folly of my ways...shit, i'm new to blogging...I suppose i'll only get better.

I wonder who else has seen this blog that i would prefer didnt'....hmm??
Maybe I should delete the entire thing...I really is a nice "outlet" though.

minor updates...

2006-04-07T14:52:00.000-04:00

Aveda girl- cooked me dinner last night...good cook. But, she's already too lovey-dovey and cutesy...I like her, but I don't need another appendage just yet. Also we just dont "mesh" well physically (she's a smushy-face way too hard kisser)...what to do, what to do. I suppose I shouldn't make any judgements just yet.

Ex girl- Sent me an email (after minimal contact in 7 months) saying she misses me...not in a get back together kind of way, but in a just wants to talk again and wants me to visit (in a friend kind of way...if that's possible) may 13-14 down in Louisiana...hmm...
this may have something to do with aveda-girl problems...

Randon online chick- I was asked out my someone on Myspace...should I be scared? should I go? It's not like I'm going to be attacked or anything...but crap, I work 65+ hours a week and I'm not a woman juggler...

Day job- sucks...i'm over it...think I might quit soon...we'll see.

Bartending- I love it...but it's freaking tiring to have two jobs. Not to mention the bar alone won't support my lifestyle...

Two new renters- sweet...my good friend Helen, unbeknownst to me...LOVES cleaning...it's how she thinks..sweet. New dude, Gabe, has tons of wine and liquor (hes' a bartender too)...we now have 100+ bottles of wine at my house spread out through 5 wine racks...and a whole cuppard full of liquor (about 15 5ths)...this is great, but could pose some obvious problems.

Workout goals- need to get in shape for new girl and possible visit with ex...but I haven't gone in 4 days....aaarrrgghhh...I feel gross.

Last but not least- I need to move...not sure where yet though...I need out of Michigan...thinking of Chicago, Seattle, Florida, or....i dont know...any suggestions? I could go live with family in Italy...but my Italian would have to get a lot better really quickly.

WooHoo!

2006-04-06T14:38:00.001-04:00

Ok, those who know me, know that i'm not exactly a sports guy. Those who know me, in fact, know that I'm REALLY not a sports guy. Which makes the follow post all the more confusing to them...

Today is opening day for the Lugnuts!!! I'm so freaking excited!! To all the non-michigan people...the lugnuts are one of those really shitty no-talent psuedo baseball teams. Its like 30 levels away from the Cubs or some shit...They have a tiny little stadium downtown. Why am I so excited then you ask??? That a good question...

They are so bad that no one cares about the game...you just sit, drink your 32oz...that bears repeating...32oz...watered down crap beer (ie...bud light, miller lite, mich light)...eat foot long brats smothered in grilled peppers and onions and too much ketchup/mustard...talk/bullshit out in the sun...and enjoy the occasional hot dog gun or t-shirt gun event (thats where someone drives around the field and fires things into the crowd...they fire...HOT DOGS!!! how can that not be cool)....

I know it'll be fun...It's a beautiful day...It's opening day...It's a good day for lugnuts!!

been tagged...

2006-04-05T16:52:00.000-04:00

1. Body soap? Aveda personal blend body wash

2. Face wash?Biore cool cleanser and warm cleanser (i switch based on temp outside...yes i'm crazy)

3. Shampoo?Aveda Color conserve or Aveda personal blend with dye included.

4. Moisturizer?L'oreal something

5. Cologne/Perfume? Surface or Vera Wang or Bond no.9 (special occasion...$$)

6. Deodorant/Anti-perspirant?ha...womens' Degree Powder fresh (don't hate...it smells awesome)

7. Toothpaste?Arm & Hammer refreshing/whitening

8. Mouthwash?listerine cool mint

9. Razor?Nope, i use non guarded trimmer against the grain to maintain a slight 5 O'clock shadow...(my god , I sound like a pretty boy!)

10. Shaving cream?nope...see #9

11. Aftershave?nope...see #9

12. Missed anything?my aveda hair wax...maybe. I wish I had the bathroom of that guy from American Psycho....

13. Whose bathroom shall we raid next? it will be a secret???muah ha ha ...I also dont know how to do the whole "link" to them thing.

Ode to Workout-People

2006-04-04T11:11:00.000-04:00

::taps arm vein, it pumps just below the surface at no more than 65 beats per min. feels rush as a syringe full of exercise penetrates the soft flesh...empties into the oxygenated blood that is slowly gaining speed. rushes toward heart and lungs. The impending swell of muscle, the impending rush of energy. Will power stretched to the point of breaking...pulling tendons, tearing sinew, breathing fire, sweating blood. Sweet euphoria of post-workout endorphins spread through your body...You want to stop but cant...you need help...your a carb-counter, a vegan, a trendy workout guru, that person that speaks of thier diet like an event, mirrors are your best friend and worst enemy...you do crunches while watching TV. You buy clothes that don't fit....yet. Your a fiend...in need of a fix...your an exercise junkie, a workout addict, a supplement specialist...you're who I hate and who I want to be...having recently joined your ranks, I'm scared...I cant quit anytime...right?::

Weekend Adventures

2006-04-03T16:46:00.001-04:00

Another long one...what a weekend. Most people don't realize the little "pains" that go with bartending. I'd include a picture if I had any idea how to...but oh well....My hands are shredded. Remember the first time you opened a bottle of beer, it was difficult right? Now open a 6-pack...now a case...there ya go getting use to it right...well you never quite get used to 400+ bottles in one night. No matter how thick your hands get from repeated use...there comes a point in the night when wet hands and bottle tops create little cuts...as you open more bottles those cuts multiply, till every bottle is an exersize in pain thresholds...you hurt yet? good, now pour vodka, gin...and drain a bunch of limes and lemons on them. Now when someone doesn't tip you because they waited more than 1 min for a drink you realize why I want to smash said beer bottles through your face. Ah yes, I can't even close my hand right now...Raw Flesh, sore muscles..boo...who am I kidding I love this job...what's wrong with me, I have a day job that pay's the bills...I just love it though.

Fri night: apparently Hank Williams had a son...Hank Jr. also procreated...his son Hank III was at my club this Friday...good crowd, no complaints except the hand thing.

Sat night: Andy Rourke from The Smiths "dj-ed"...what a poser...should have been called Andy Rourke from Smiths went through his cd collection in public. I hate when people say DJ when they mean I use a computer or cd's, dont even attempt to mix or compose a set in any way. Nikko Case also played...good show. Then our usual Top-40 stuff...no fights this time.

Sunday...Soprano's...Sushi...sex...some of my favorite "S's"

first and foremost

2006-04-03T16:44:00.000-04:00

For those who would require/like my Email (smartypants)...it is as follows:

Templeclubsec@hotmail.com

Yes, I'm the babysitter.

2006-03-31T17:55:00.000-05:00

So I have a new job...I'm the babysitter...not of little mini-humans that piss and shit all over themselves. But of full grown female ones. What's worse, I sorta like the protective "i'll take care of you" vibe I get to rock out!

Two days in a row now i've gone drinking with female friends (and new girl too)....where said female tried to keep up with me. Now, this is a bad idea if your a full grown MAN...as I've been bartending for over 4 years now, and can inbibe with the best of 'em. The women, suffice to say, engage in a good deal of lunch-loosing by the end of the evening. I in turn got to play the "hold your hair" "it's gonna be OK, I promise" "yes, you have to drink more water" role...

And I enjoy it...what the hell is wrong with me?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours...

2006-03-28T11:57:00.000-05:00

A comment by someone who's blog I visit regularly (smartypants/room full of fireflies)...got me thinking.

She said, "Girls. We're so ruthless about other girls"....now the interesting part is that guys...just arent' like that. I think for the most part guys are more prone to violence and more likely to be non-empathetic toward others so I would tend to think that men would be MORE ruthless/bitchy about other men. This not being true...was the topic of a bit O'thought...I'm curious if you (random people of blog-onia) agree with me.
Men, when confronted with a situation with another man tends toward not being ruthless or cruel...I think...BECAUSE we're so much more likely to jump to violence. To argue with a guy means...you're probably going to have to fight him. As such, you're likely to get hit yourself. I think men are more likely to let-things-slide with another guy just in the interest of self-preservation. Women are, nine times out of ten...the one's that fight at the club...they're also more likely to drag their man into a fight. I dislike many guys...i dont think i've ever even metioned it....in fact I'll shake his hand or give him the cross-crowd guy "nod" that we're so fond of. I dont' know why...but we never feel the need to make our mutual distaste obvious. We know it's there, we just dont care. If we were women, we'd be telling everyone every possible horrible thing about the other, exchanging dirty looks, etc. I think women, unlike men, just dont see physical violence as the inevitable end result...as such they get into more fights. I dont know...just a thought.

Drama (pronounced Dr-ea-mah, not Dr-aah-ma)

2006-03-24T15:59:00.000-05:00

Ok so one of my best friends is moving to Chicago...wants me to DJ at her going away party. I mention it as a good time to bring out "aveda girl" (new girl i've been seeing) to meet everyone...she thought it was a good idea, and proceded to ask me questions about her. This Q&A session ended with her saying "dont you dare bring that fucking bitch to MY going away party".....
Now, you, like I...are most likely confused...
Turns out her previous boyfriend and her "split" because he cheated on her with another woman..."New girl" was that other woman...they had words etc. So, what's worse...she now assumes I will be ending my "relations" with aformentioned new girl. With that assumption, she wrote a rather scathing comment on my myspace page...appologizing for ruining my relationship, but adding that it's probably best that i dont "date a bitch, that will end up giving you an STD"...now you can imagine the phone call i recieved from new girl on this one...

My question...Am I obligated to sever all ties?? After all new girl didn't cheat on anyone...And the actual offender (the guy) still hangs out with my friend on a regular basis...doesn't that make her a HUGE hypocrit (sp?)...and, as such, open the doors to me doing whatever that hell I want to?? After all, new girl has been great to me...(not to mention, really hot)...
It's going to be an uphill battle now with all my other female friends that have probably already been "briefed" on their necessary communal hatred of the new girl.
What's a guy to do?

pissy or polite?

2006-03-22T01:20:00.000-05:00

Ok, there are four topics of discussion that if you're debating them with me and you find yourself on the opposite side of the debate....your wrong. Nothing personal, just a fact...I know more than you. This is not meant in a condecending way...everyone has their "topics";the following are mine:

1. My families Italian heritage and the history and signifigance of that heritage. Where I'm from...my families traditions, its wines.... etc,etc.

2. Home loans, mortgage lending, credit specifics, and guidelines and regulation pertaining to them.

3. Electronic music; it's history, influences, artists, signifigant tracks...and almost everything within that topic worth knowing.

4. Bartending...drinks...and anything that may include.

Now, I had a most unpleasant experience tonight....I was out with a few friends. In the midst of the evening a guy I know on a casual basis begins to discuss Italy and when he lived there 9 years ago...a friend mentions that I go there quite often and am italian, so his conversation turns to me. It all started off very nonchalant...but quickly turned less so. He begins discussing...incorrectly and insultingly...the merrits of differenct types of italians, the important or richness of one heritage versus another...so on and so forth. Now this would be a delicate topic in any situation...no one discusses which jew's are better that another or which native american tribe had a better community, or which countries are better...common sense...you bound to piss someone off. This guy was blatantly insulting my family and it's heritage! I did my best to correct him, and request he not talk about it ( his intent was not to piss me off). He proceded to insist he was right...about MY family/history/heritage...I blew him off...said "yeah, your probably right...ok". Everyone at the table thought i was just being cocky and arrogant. But I let it go.

On to the next topic..go figure...this guy trying to regain my smile and friendship (he really didn't do it on purpose, I believe) starts discussing, his credit, and his job prospect at a bank and what they told him about the loan industry. What they told him was classic lies and sales techniques. I've been in the industry for a couple years, but to tell him this just prompted him telling me I was wrong....again. I once again ....avoid the truth....which would be to say, "they lied to you. I'm sorry, buy, you dont know what your talking about. So stop talking!" in the interest of good politics, I once again say " oh,...hmmm....ok"...once again everyone thought I was being a cocky SOB.

So I lost it, told them all the only reason i wouldn't finish the conversation is that I didn't want to call him a fucking moron...I was trying to be polite by letting him think his ill-informed ideals weren't stupid. If he only touched on my other two "specialities"...say...talk about the history of techno or how to make a certain drink.... I would have had to hit him...no one wants that, so I was dismissive and rude. SO fucking what. How do you politely tell someone they're an idiot? Is it possible?
So there I sat, everyone thinking I'm a rude asshole, when I was taking the kinder path. So I told them all I was sick of their company and got up and left...ruining an otherwise pleasant evening.
BOO! I just cant fucking win. So then I went 3 doors down to eat way too much diet ruining comfort food (mexican..mmm..mmm.good)

just had to get that off my chest...

weekend adventures

2006-03-20T14:22:00.001-05:00

Wow, ever have one of those weekends that just makes you want to go back in time and just sleep through the whole fucking thing?

Friday night bartending: Some damn hillbilly country band completely devoid of taste and style. If someone would have requested "a nip' a moonshine boy" it wouldn't have surprised me one bit. oh yeah, thanks for tipping me one quarter on 7 budlight's you cheap bastards...but you can keep it, if I need to make a phone call i'll use my cell phone. Put your pathetic quarter tip in a fund to get yourself some dental work...

speaking of dental work...you know those decorative corn's that you see around Halloween...the black and orange one's that are all mishapen and hard...yeah, saw a girl that had four of those as the only teeth in her mouth, and she would smile REAL big when she asked for her drink with her bitchy attitude "in tow". I cant' even express my distaste for this cross section of pseudo-humanity.

Saturday night bartending: same thing different crowd; let's call it "how ghetto can I act" night. Let's "thug out"..."front" on everyone...run "game" on bitches...oh yeah, and what night would be complete without smashing a pint glass through someone's head...WooHoo! let's not be a stereotype or anything. That's all I have to say about that.

Ahh Sunday, my reprieve:...a little Soprano's (with tony in a coma the whole time...god I'm gonna hate this season if they keep this up)...some movie watching with Lynn (an old "ex" turned friend; watched Jarhead, good cinematography)...and someone to sleep beside...new girl Aveda-rep from New York...

one day outta three ain't bad...I suppose.

Advice from the blogosphere

2006-03-17T14:04:00.000-05:00

WARNING! this may get a bit "involved"

background: So I have an "ex" that I lived with for three years...blahblahblah...things went bad because she moved away to grad school, distance a problem, too much stress when together. We speak every now and again about random non-personal topics. My family owns a winery in Tuscany, Italy...I visit there every fall to help with the fall grape harvest (i realize how "snooty" this sounds, but it isn't like that). I'm allowed to use the villa with friends or family anytime I want...which is totally cool.
the situation: So the "ex" decided she's taking a, half for fun; half for school, trip through Italy. She's going with one of her best friends. She will be passing through my families home town and would like to stay in my families villa (she's never seen it before). But, she wants to make sure it's OK with me first (and needs me to arrange it).
the question: Do I assume that something like that is a benefit for someone dating me only...sorry bout your luck, you dont get one without the other. Or do I play the bigger person and let her? ( I still care for her very much)
additional question: Do I make an excuse as to why she can't...be truthfull...or do I let her stay, with the afterthought that it can't help but be impressive...and she cant help but miss all the great things about me. (like wine villa's in Italy)

I know this is fucking pathetic that I ask the random grouping on blog people....but people who know me well are "jaded" in too many ways to put "weight" into their opinions.

You little bitches!

2006-03-08T16:45:00.000-05:00

Oh yeah...it's that time of year again. Everywhere you go they prance around in their little green or brown outfits. We see them Smiling and singing and pushing their wares...evil little temptresses. Thats right Girl Scout Cookies are back! You cant go anywhere without saying "one box cant be that bad" or "it's for the kids" even the occasional "If I dont they'll glare at me for being stingy"...then somehow, you leave with 7 boxes 4 different kinds....a box to save...one to keep...one for the freezer...etc,etc,etc. Damn, those little bitches just dont let up. Whats worse, is that i look forward to seeing the little happy spring colored boxes. I look forward to it so much that even if I wasn't a sweet tooth "whore" I probably still buy them...ugh. Then the next day at work, you just know someone's child is a part of the Cult O' Cookies and now youre required by office rules to buy a few...
I'm so depressed about the whole thing, I'm heading to my couch to eat a few right now.

Talk & Drive

2006-03-06T14:45:00.000-05:00

*Something for all of you (and me) to remember when answering your phone and driving at the same time*

Jacqueline Dotson was seriously injured in an accident near Winchester, Ky., in February that police say happened when she lost control of her SUV and ran several other cars off the road before overcorrecting, which caused the SUV to roll over a guardrail and land upside down. A rescue crew labored an hour and a half with the "jaws of life" to extricate her from the vehicle, but one of her arms was already free, severed in the accident and lying on the road, still grasping a cell phone. [WLEX-TV (Lexington), 2-3-06

Funny-Huh? not Funny-HaHa!

2006-03-06T11:19:00.001-05:00

Ha! life is funny. Ex that i've missed for so long wrote me an email to tell me how she was alone and bored and all she wanted was my company. Of course, we live and 18 hour drive away from each other...so it isn't feasable. It only makes sense that she wrote me now considering that I spent all of yesterday with a new girl that is extremely cool. half greek half italian and looks every bit of what you'd expect with that kind of mix. Super exotic hottness in short fantastic body. *drooling*
But aside from appearance she's actually relationship fodder...being intelligent,interesting, and stylish as well. So now i'm at work on about 4 hours of sleep totall having spent the entire night there just talking and eating (two of my favorite activities)....and I'm loving my exhaustion.

pop fizz

2006-02-28T11:53:00.000-05:00

Today's post from this guy is crazy amounts of hilarious!!

pop fizz

3 1/2 pack

2006-02-28T08:14:00.000-05:00

So I've been doing this whole "workout" thing. It started with a post-breakup desire to look amazing when I saw "her" again. It has since become more of a need to, once again, look good naked. Now I'm by no means out of shape. I can run and lift weights and all that mess...in fact, I do so three times a week. However, my problem lies in this...ALCOHOL! I cant stop drinking. I'm not and actual alcoholic mind you. More of a passive one. When i'm out, I drink...when at home, a glass of wine...when I'm bored, the bar sounds fun...one of my jobs, go figure, bartending. Those two worlds do not seamlessly mesh. Because for all my working out, there's still a layer of liquor/wine fat eliminating the ability to have a six pack. It's a 3 1/2 pack truthfully. I'm not even sure how that works...but there you have it. I'm just annoyed.

More coffee please...

2006-02-23T18:51:00.000-05:00

Most everything worth saying has already been said by someone more original than I...
You know...I dont get enough sleep. I realize noone does...but fuck that mess. Why must everyone endure the leaded eye strain every single day. cant we just have a worthwhile holiday. We'll call it "snooze" day or "REM" day (I know these arent good names...so fine, give me better titles)...this will be a holiday where everyone just sleeps all damn day. Now there's a card worth sending, "hope your dreams are pleasant" or "looking forward to nothing in particular"...this is a holiday I could get behind. I mean, do we really need a "president's day" or "sweetest day"(sp?). Like anyone gives a shit about when Lincoln was born! Then again you know there would be some asshole who decided he'd rather go to work and fuck it up for the rest of us. There always some assinine petition by some useless self serving special intrest group just dying to have a day dedicated to them just for self promotion, so, why cant we have one that everyone truly needs....
Come my brethren link arms and hearts and come together in the name of a common good...think not of your country or of your neighbor...or anything at all, and sleep ALL FUCKING DAY!

The easier the better

2006-02-21T18:58:00.000-05:00

I really wish I had a clue how to make this blog look cooler...
To: all....picture this page with graphics that are stylish and interesting but minimal enough that you eagerly await seeing the next one. Picture this page with insightful windows into my soul that are so universal that they could very well be a mirror into yours. Picture this page with readers galore, all intelligent and metropolitan in their discussions on the topics I propose. Picture me a golden god of "blogy-ness" that......Ok granted that was a bit much....and I realize "blogy-ness" isn't a word, but dont you think it should be...dont you think it could be...

more about me

2006-02-20T10:31:00.000-05:00

I'm a 26 year old overworked, underpaid, broken hearted ex-drug dealing raver DJ turned corporate american consumer sellout that is desperately trying to piece together the once clear purpose for my existence. I'm a kind hearted good looking well travelled Italian american wine snob military brat...I have a fat twitchy snorting kitty named "kitti", all my cat's have been named kitty in one way or another. I found my true love, her name is K.B. We lived and loved together for over three years. I'd sell my soul to make her smile. She is currently no longer interested in being a part of my life, but i'm willing to wait while she finds herself and decides what she wants...sad but true. I'm a happy person, and have most things i've ever wanted (within reason). I've lived an amazing life and have no reason to complain, yet somehow I do....constantly. I think I just like the sound of my own voice a tad much. It's nice to meet you....

Begining of the End

2006-02-16T19:05:00.000-05:00

My virginal voyage into the deep dark expanse of that self glorificating world of "blog-ness"....I promise not to forget the little people.

Dont kill the messenger

...

the holidays

me on a date....what's the world coming to

ho-hum...

You're gonna love this...

half real...

I'm unemployed!!

If you get the chance

...

Behind the badge

weird find...

late night update

not fair...

My Mantra...

College ID

wow...sorry

record on repeat

WooHoo

Where everybody knows your name...

Weekend Update...

hmmm..

Construction

OK, OK....here's a picture...

Weekend Review...

weekend updates...

*TAGGED* yeah you got me...

I always seen to get hurt

a little FCF on Sat....

The walking dead...

Updates, Updates, Updates

last night...

weekend update

FCF...

Appology

Word Verifications

weekend update...

Back to Basics

Pissy mood

weekend update...

FCF??

sorry

In my mouf like a disco bawl

weekend updates...

strange start to another year

Numb

DEMF

The reason we have ears!!!

I AM MAN!!

Slip'n yo

in BFE

If memory serves...

sometime soon

a rose by any other name...

almost forgot

Weekend updates

Last Friday...

fully clothed thursday

Weekend Warrior-ish

extra salt please

First HNT!!

Can't resist...

Some choices easier than others...

weather or not?

Dangerous Liaisons

uncomfortable silences...

minor updates...

WooHoo!

been tagged...

Ode to Workout-People

Weekend Adventures

first and foremost

Yes, I'm the babysitter.

I'll show you mine if you show me yours...

Drama (pronounced Dr-ea-mah, not Dr-aah-ma)

pissy or polite?

weekend adventures

Advice from the blogosphere

You little bitches!

Talk & Drive

TAGGED yeah you got me...